ToeJam (bamagitarman) wrote,

I would like to thank you for being there every step of the way for me, always being there for me, being a positive influence in my life. Teaching me how to be a good man, more importantly, a good person. I'd like to thank you for taking time out of your hectic lifestyle to show me the differences between right and wrong, showing me the right paths to take. Thanks for teaching me to play football, fix a car, do all that other stuff you know I love so much. Thanks for being there for me when I was having girl troubles, and for showing me the right ways to do that stuff, you know I couldn't do it on my own. Thank you for just being you and helping me along the way, being a true friend and most importantly a father.

Why the fuck can't this happen? Because my father was always too busy running around with girls my sisters age to give a fuck about us, too busy living his own god damn life and not realizing how fucked up he's making his kids. He was always thinking he could buy his self into our lives with a movie, dinner, or baseball game. Why wasn't he there at all when I needed him? When I was going through shit that I didn't feel comfortable going to my mom with. Where was he? Seriously. I know the answer, but I don't know why. It's too fucking late now, I don't give a shit what he's doing. I got tired of the false promises, the not trying, the throwing us off on his family, the guilting, the trying to turn us against our mom.

I am so close to emailing him that first letter. Oh yea, found his ass on facebook and myspace. He lived down the street from me for a good 2 fucking years. I know I dont' give a shit about him, but he was RIGHT there, at least he could make an effort. Seriously, if I wasn't in Indiana, I'd probably kick his ass right now. I can't handle the shit that's going on in my head because of that fucking guy.

Actually, forget the letter, I just want to send him a big FUCK YOU!
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